How to Drive a Gephyrophobiac Over a Bridge

When I’m a passenger in a car going over a bridge, nothing can make me feel better about the experience except not having to drive over the bridge or just getting the ordeal over with.

And to anyone who drives me over a bridge, I’m both thankful and sympathetic because you’re helpless to help me.

However, there are a few things the driver can NOT do so as NOT to increase my anxiety level…

  • Don’t change the radio or fiddle with any of the car’s controls.  Don’t worry about the heat or air conditioner.  All of that should have been set before we got on the bridge.
  • Don’t talk on the phone.
  • Don’t use GPS to try to figure out where to go once we’re off the bridge. Please don’t ask me to do it either.  Figure it out beforehand.
  • If there’s only one lane or we’re in the right lane, don’t drive close to the right edge of the road.  Please…
  • Don’t pass.
  • Don’t drive in the blind spot of a tractor trailer.  In fact, stay away from them all together and RVs too as well as cars and trucks pulling horses, landscape equipment,  motorcycles and snowmobiles.  Anything being pulled that sways side to side should be avoided.  And stay away from cars with mattresses or any other household items incompetently tied down.
  • Don’t look for your water bottle, coffee, etc.  And obviously don’t take a sip of anything or eat anything.
  • Don’t change lanes.
  • Don’t look at the view.  As they say, there’s nothing to see here!
  • Don’t go too fast or too slow, get me over this bridge as fast as possible.

This doesn’t leave much room for anything but having two hands on the wheel and focusing on driving straight to the other end of the bridge. 

Just the way I like it.

 

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